Civilized Behavior: You’ve Heard of It, Yes?
I seem to be unable to attend conventions without being dry-humped anymore. It’s very annoying. Even at the Folsom Street Fair I could avoid that indignity.
Granted, I have other problems at the Folsom Street Fair, which is usually a stream of low-grade, distressingly insistent come-ons rather than single undignified acts of borderline sexual assault, but this is another story, for another day.
I first encountered this unfortunate circumstance at last year’s YaoiCon, a few days before this site opened. Friday afternoon, I was walking out back to a friend’s room to adjust my costume when someone grabbed me from behind and started hip-thrusting. It was really very uncivilized, and while someone on Constaff saw it and offered to revoke the person’s badge, I asked them to give only a first-last-and-only warning. People look forward to YaoiCon all year, and it’s easy to get caught up in the sheer vibrant enthusiasm of the convention. It didn’t feel like my place to ruin someone’s weekend only a few hours in. Under certain circumstances, a gentleman is obligated to forgive.
Random hugs are common at Fanime, among old friends, new friends, and even strangers. That’s part of what makes the con special to me; there’s something magical about the way it expresses the simple joy of having so many fans under one gigantic roof. 
In an average Fanime I probably hug close to a hundred people, so when one more person caught me on the way to the doors, raising his arms for the hug, I didn’t think much of obliging him. It wasn’t enough for him, evidently, because almost immediately he started grinding his crotch against my leg. I didn’t feel much, per se, but being sheathed in skintight napa leather is a deceptively sensitive experience. The feeling was very distinctly anatomical, and I could tell from his motion that he meant it. Even if I couldn’t, the shit-eating grin on his face would have been hint enough.
That was not civilized. He is not civilized. We scold dogs for that kind of misbehavior.
You can see him off to the left here. I’m posting his picture as a warning to others. He has no excuses.
Where YaoiCon is a sexually-themed convention, Fanime is not, and Fanime’s Monday afternoon is its very last dance, an extra day that most conventions don’t even have. It’s an afternoon of goodbyes, almost, and by then it’s time to start fading back to Earth, back to the real world and its very real expectations. Out here, at least, “acceptable behavior” simply doesn’t include dry-humping people without permission. At its core, the problem is only tangentially sexual; really I believe that it’s a problem of respect and dignity. I find it telling that neither of my tormentors apologized; instead, they gave me empty stares, almost as though they couldn’t understand that I might be offended. No modern apology is adequate, but I would have appreciated the attempt.
I suppose I should count my blessings. At YaoiCon I only had to suffer five or six quick thrusts; they stopped when I obviously didn’t enjoy them. This latest incident at least ended with my firm no.
That’s not the point, though, is it? I shouldn’t have to put a stop to it; I shouldn’t have to remind people that some things are out of line.
Apparently, though, this concept is a little more difficult than I thought.
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