Check out anytime you like…

For about two months now I’ve been trying to explain something that’s been bothering me about Fanime, but I really can’t find the right words. It makes me very sad to admit this, but it doesn’t feel like home anymore. Instead I feel lost, in transition maybe, surrounded by people I have come to call my own, but ultimately unable to connect, and sometimes unable even to comprehend.

Over the years I’ve made some wonderful friends, and I don’t regret a minute of the time I got to spend with them. One way or the other I plan to see them all again. In between, though, this year felt empty, with long and silent pauses stretching to fill the space, hours of going through the motions without any feeling. I don’t remember cons ever feeling quite so lonely.

I miss really being able to meet people, to sit down and get to know them. I miss making friends that I get to keep, that I still get to talk with sometimes when the weekend is over. Maybe I’ve grown old and serious.

Sic transit gloria mundi, I guess.

I’ve moved to Florida, despite California’s last, harshest attempts to keep me in the state. I like it, for the most part, though in all the rushing around I’ve neglected this site terribly.

I’ll try to catch up. I need to get back into the habit.

I think I saw that coming.

I think I saw it coming.

Back in February I posted a link to Don Peck’s article about the long unemployment crisis and the impact it’s likely to have on our country and our culture. It clicked with some long-floating anxieties, and, sure enough, in April, my company closed its virtual doors. The company gave me a little bit of severance, better than a slap in the face but not by much.

It had been a long time coming. Sometimes I look back and I’m surprised that we lasted as long as we did.

The job search was… both better and worse than I expected, really. I decided that I would submit one job application or sit for one job interview, every weekday, until I found a new position. Weekends and Fanime I kept for myself, and I did take one “vacation” day. Job searching took up about two hours out of every day, and interviews generally took between one and three, depending on how much time I had to spend getting there. It felt like a light search, but others tell me that it was actually pretty aggressive.

By the numbers, this comes out to:

More alligators! Also, a crab.

This week, Adrian has begun the rather frantic process of trying to pack up his entire life and move cross-country. He is also trying to put together a few thoughts on Fanime, but his time is very limited right now. It is very sudden and very confusing. I think he is as surprised by it all as everyone else, but I will try to keep him on track. In the meantime, I am here to entertain you.

Originally I wanted to show you all how to make a nice dinner, but… it has not gone as planned. A wonderful artist named Barlee drew a picture of the ensuing chaos.

Changes and Alligators

Hello everyone!

Adrian has unpacked from Fanime and is now immediately repacking for a short visit to Florida, land of humidity and alligators. Please join me in hoping that he is not eaten.

Also, we are conducting a small experiment with the moderation system. It should let new first-time comments in much faster than before. We do see all of the comments, even the ones held for moderation, so please do let us know if you have problems.

Thank you,
~Catboy

I think that says more about you…

I was hanging out at a friend’s Artist Alley table yesterday when a Random Capcom Employee (RCE) came up and started a little conversation. I’m going to transcribe it about as accurately as I can remember.

Edit: I am now doubting my memory, and it is possible that he was from Namco. I think it is funnier if someone from Capcom is talking high-and-mighty about creativity, because they made exactly the same game four times, so much so that they can be beaten with exactly the same inputs.

RCE: I like your work! It’s very original. It’s not like all this other fan stuff.

Friend: What do you mean?

RCE: Some of the fan stuff has pretty good technique, but it has no life. I mean, why take someone else’s character? Why not make your own?

Adrian: Well, there’s something to be said for using existing characters because they have resonance, isn’t there? They say something; they have power. People respond to them. It’s like retelling myths or something. You don’t think anyone wrote them all from scratch, did you? Why do you think people built so many churches, or did so much religious art?

RCE: Yeah, well, I’m an athiest.

Adrian: You should still be able to appreciate, for example, La Pietà…

RCE: “Well, like I said, it’s fine technically.”

Adrian: “You can’t find the emotion and life in La Pietà?”

RCE: “Phh.” RCE exits, stage left

Friend (unfortunately steamrolled): “Uhh…”

This blew my mind, and I’m still having a little trouble wrapping my thoughts around it. Michelangelo’s Pietà is one of the single greatest artworks in all of human history. If following some school of “atheism” means being unable to appreciate its beauty and emotional weight, it says a lot more about its followers than it does about La Pietà.

I don’t know that I like realizing that about people.